The Long Story

The morning of the wedding we girls checked out of our hotel room, packed into the blue Honda, drove to the cleaners where we picked up the bridesmaid dresses, and then Vons where we picked up the flowers and paid for them. The excitement was building: a car full of girls with dresses and flowers on the morning of the wedding oh my!

I was starting to shake a little when we pulled up to the house and started getting everything ready. We had planned the wedding for so long and now every little detail and whether it was carried out right or not was hours away. The mahogany dining room table that Betty had inherited from her mother was in the family room ready for gifts, while the candles, cake knife, cake topper, favors, mints, poetry sheets and everything else we needed for the wedding was under the table. Oh my! We were getting close!

We ate healthy: an assortment of large muffins, bagels with cream cheese and lots of juice. Then off to work. I tied ivory tulle bows on the ends of the chairs and around the daisy pots (four of them) that signaled the beginning and end of the aisle. Later someone placed bubbles tied with either peach or green ribbon in the center of each white plastic chair. Betty’s friend Cindy Wedge, a mail carrier who loved gardening, told us we could raid her rose bushes the day of the wedding, so Karen and I took off in the blue Honda to do just that. We picked peach, coral, ivory, yellow, white and red roses. When we got back to the house Amy was there eating breakfast, then Rhonda, Amy, Amber and I cut and arranged the flowers. While all this was going on Betty was still planting some blue wild flowers and yellow snapdragons by the buffet area and watering the whole yard. Gary and the guys went to Home Depot to buy more boganvia to finish building the wall that separated the ceremony from the reception. The night before he and Mike went to Heinshals (sp?), a 24 hour coffee shop that just about everyone frequented in high school because it was a cheaper hangout than Denny’s. What they talked about I don’t know. They probably BSed about cars, or decided how the cars could be arranged to best show them off at the wedding.

Daniel was supposed to be there at 4 p.m. to take pictures, but my mom wasn’t even there yet with the cake. She got there a few minutes after four, but wasn’t ready. We were about to get ready, but Gary and I had to sneak down and look in the fridge in the garage. There was the cake, three tiers tall, completely assembled with peach and forest green trim with intertwined peach and green hearts on the top layer plus our names. The ivory butter-cream icing confection was perfect. And even better, my mom made it 

Countdown in the master bedroom with the girls: Sit down, Amber smoothes Lancome’s Porcelaine D’Ivoire  foundation over my perturbed face with a makeup sponge. Blush and Cover Girl’s brown hued eye shadow pack get dusted with various brushes and applicators. I complain that I don’t look like me. Sit down, shut up, stop worrying, you’re going to look great. But I want to look like me. Groan. Do you trust me? Yes. So relax! I do. Rhonda unwinds the pink sponge curlers revealing Shirley Temple curls that tickle my neck. I worry I’m going to have a fro when they are combed. Close your eyes. I do. A Wet and Wild brown eyeliner pencil darkens my lash line. It tickles. Cover Girl’s translucent “fair” powder is fluffed all over my face and neck to keep me from being “shiny”. My lips are redrawn and colored in with what I chose to be an almost natural shade. Finally, two coats of Maybelline’s Great Lash waterproof mascara finish the look by lengthening my eyelashes. Rhonda finishes gently picking out the curls  and clipping up what would be my bang hair. I’m surprised. I look great!

Onto the rest: My mom’s not here, so I panic that no one will help me get dressed. Amber is on the floor taking out her curlers and doing her makeup. Karen’s in the bathroom, Leah’s dressed and Rhonda did Leah’s hair like a cute Barbie from the 60s. I sit on the floor and carefully pull up my ivory thigh high stockings. Then the white corset from JC Pennys that cuts my breaths short and pushes my boobs into my armpits. Next the slip. The slip that I specifically asked the bridal shop to double check if it was the right one because it didn’t look all that poofy in the plastic bag. Yes, they had said it was the right one.

Betty had just come in from watering and her nose was so sunburned on the tip that she looked like Rudolph. I felt so bad for her. Her hair was wet from the shower and she helped an embarrassed and shy me into the slip and ivory wedding dress with a tulle ballgown, basqued waist, sweetheart neckline, and daisy beading on the bodice .  Amber insisted on taking pictures. You just have to. It’s tradition to have pictures of the bride dressing. But in my underwear?  Betty helped me fasten the little diamond necklace that my grandmother had willed to me for my 21st birthday. I sat down and Amber pushed up my garters: an ivory one from Farrels that I bought with Janine in January, and a blue one that I bought with Janine when I was 13 from Farrels in Eugene, Oregon. Amber studied them to make sure they were even and up my leg the right amount before helping me into my ivory Mary Jane’s with a two inch heal that I bought at Sears. All the bridesmaids also wore the same shoes. I had originally wanted to wear Converse high tops, but I could never find any in white or ivory; besides, Gary wanted me to be a little taller. Ok, stand up.

Houston, we have a problem. The dress seems to be two inches too long and I’m tripping on it when I walk. It fit perfect at the last fitting. What’s the problem?

It was the slip of course. The slip that the lovely (I hated going every time) bridal shop (they were always rude and dropped $1000 dresses on the floor) had insisted that it was right after they double checked. It was almost 5 p.m. now, the time the shop closed on Saturdays. Leah got on the phone and called and called. No answer. But I had to go and take my pictures. I borrowed a pair of Betty’s too big spiked white heals that I could barely walk in and went outside pretending to smile, hot under the slip and tight corset.  We took our pictures. Gary made me laugh, fixing my veil, necklace, hair, ring and whatever else he could. Daniel snapped away the whole time. It’s funny to look at the pictures of Gary’s “fixing” mixed with kissing. We were having a good time. Mike carried my cathedral length veil from place to place, and fixed my hand tied bouquet of ivory and peach long stem roses by cutting off the long stems to make it easier to hold. Then everyone else joined us for the group photos and the photos with my family. Soon the guests began to arrive just as we were taking the last of the photos. It was so embarrassing having them sit and watch us. When the guests arrived I started to have a minor panic attack.

The peach snapdragon centerpieces that I had planted the day before in terra cotta pots were not on the tables yet, nor were the candles, mints or poetry sheets. Geezes! I didn’t think it was going to happen on time. Then out from the crowd and through the valet parking guys came my superman, Jason, carrying a large white slip over his head and zipping up the garage stairs. The caterers and DJ were setting things up when I scuttled back to the safety of the house. The slip was a little tight, but it fit better, so I wasn’t tripping on the dress as much and I could put my Mary Jane’s back on.

The string trio began playing classical tunes while Amber took me upstairs to the dining room where she made me sit with my back to the window. Calm down. Breathe. Everything will be beautiful. But we need more time! We’re not ready! Liz, just focus on the fact that you’re marrying a great guy. My heart continued to beat fast and my hands shook. I wasn’t nervous about getting married; I was nervous that the two years of planning wouldn’t go as planned.

Soon we were all going down the stairs to the library where everyone was supposed to meet for the processional. Jesse wasn’t there. I worried that he had fallen asleep somewhere since he was so tired earlier, or perhaps he was in the bathroom. Finally, everyone was there: Betty and Greg, Gary, my parents, Jesse, Aaron and Leah, Rhonda and Karen, and Amy and Amber. Amy had barely made it to the pictures earlier because she went home to get her boyfriend who said he would come, then took off with the guys to go fishing. So we were all there, lined up, and proceeding down with the music. The trio played Canon and Gary walked with his parents, then Jesse escorted Karen and Rhonda, then Mike with Amber and Amy, and Leah with Aaron. The girls looked like princesses with their peach satin tea length dresses with ivory organza overlay and sleeves, and crowned with  wreathes of dried flowers. Their single ivory roses looked very elegant. The guys looked stunning with the black tuxes and forest green vests. I could not have planned it better. The wedding colors that I chose when I was a little girl were walking before me.

Then it was my turn. I waited because Greensleeves had not yet begun playing. Gary was getting nervous and thinking that I decided not to go through with it. But when the music started I walked out from the side of the garage with my parents behind me holding the end of the veil. The video captures what I could not see: my parents clearly talking with heads bent towards each other. They thought it was funny to be carrying my veil, but I didn’t want it dragging on the blacktop or getting twisted in the wind. I stopped at the base of the grass and waited for my parents to come on either side of me. My mom forgot she was walking me down too, so I had to turn my head back and tell her. Yes, my smile walking down is as fake as my mother’s because one, I was afraid I would trip, and two, I couldn’t believe that my mother forgot what she was supposed to do. Then we were there, Gary took my hand and I stepped onto the deck above the pond with Gary, holding his ring on my middle finger.

We had met with Mr. Troike twice before to make sure that the ceremony was simple, not too religious, and above all, no longer than 20 minutes. Oops, he misunderstood I guess. It started ok.

Liz told me that she likes Gary because he’s a great editor, and Gary says that he likes Liz because she can drive. Laughter from the audience. More stories. Parents blessed us. Agape agape agape agape . . . . Or at least, that’s what we heard for 40 minutes as I shifted from leg to leg under the big ball gown and Gary worried that he was going to drop my ring through the cracks in the deck. People who didn’t even know Jesse wanted to get him a chair because he looked like he was going to pass out. My mother cried because she realized that Jesse looked sick enough to die. One of the musicians fell asleep. I don’t blame him. Finally! With this ring. . . .

Gary, would you like to kiss the bride? We kissed for what seemed like a very short time after suffering through the long ceremony, but people in the audience giggled, thinking that we were kissing for too long. Then Amber gave me two of her roses (she carried three) to give to the mothers. First I gave one to my mom, then as I was giving Betty hers she reached up to tell me something and I thought she wanted a hug, so I hugged her, thus making my mom slightly jealous. If I could do it again I’d hug them both. Soon people were blowing bubbles and the trio was awake and playing a happy Gaelic tune. Gary and I held hands as we walked back down smiling. I forgot to get my bouquet back from Amber. Oops.

Everyone made their way back to the driveway where we mingled for a while and took a few more photos. There was a magical feel as hundreds of bubbles floated around us. My brother looked handsome escorting Karen and Rhonda. Amber’s first words back were: My flower broke, as she held up her broken stem and rose head. That made everyone laugh. Our little family, the wedding party, was the last to walk through the arch into the dining area after being announced.

Aaron, Mike, Amber, and Amy made a toast to us. Amy dedicated the song, “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack. Then Gary made a quick toast (but I don’t know the exact words of it because no one got it on video), and I toasted Gary and all of our friends for coming, then read “The Double Bubble of Infinity” by Kate Farrell before announcing, “Let’s eat.”

“The Double Bubble of Infinity”

The night before the day of our wedding

I dreamed that the universe had a party,

All the stars were invited,

Beneath sparkling chandeliers, the planets rejoiced;

In all its beautiful, candle-lit galaxies,

Crowded with glass-clinking revellers,

The Cosmos was Laughing with

Lasting Love and Light.

Dinner was a buffet: tossed green salad with either raspberry dressing or ranch, some kind of pasta salad, whole green beans with parsley sauce, herb roasted new potatoes, penne pasta with alfredo sauce, roast beef and mango chicken. (I just got hungry writing that.) We drank iced tea, coffee, water, and toasted with apple cider. Devoir’s (SP) “Dream” CD played mellow classic music, and when that ended we listened to Yanni. During dinner there was a  poetry reading, most of which occurred in the dusk and dark by candlelight. It was very romantic until Ed Clutter, my families long time friend, lit his personal message on fire and had to stamp it out on the grass. But that was soon forgotten. My friend Mike Hopf  recited “She Walks in Beauty Like the Night” by Lord Byron, Nellie’s friend Fiona read “How do I love thee, let me count thy ways” by Elizabeth Barrett-Browning, Denise read part of The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, Greg’s longtime friend Randy Evans read “A Red, Red Rose” with a Scottish accent, my Uncle Johnny recited some long story/joke, my old friend Joy Ward gave the advice her father always gave, Betty read too, and many other people gave toasts and told little stories. I read “Canon in D”, a poem I wrote specifically for Gary.

Canon in D

Your toothbrush in your mouth

Dancing in the light of the computer screen

Just you and me

Dancing slow in a circle

Little Steps

Your brown hair brushes my lips

As you bend down listening

For me to whisper

I love you

I smell your hair and

Close my Dancing around the livingroom

eyes

Floating with you

From place to place

On your gray carpet at Hemlock

Your cheap brown carpet in Flint

The blue and brown painted floors at Poli

The blue-gray carpet at Crimea

The brown plywood in Sweden

The wood floors at Poli

Little Steps

From place to place

In life

We promised to follow each other

Little Steps

Down the aisle

The clouds float by

We dance together

In life

Always to Canon

As the poetry reading came to an end, Gary and I held hands and walked through the people, greeting them and inviting them to join us for cake and dancing on the upper driveway. All of the dining tables were lit by the favors, tea lights in glass cup-shaped candleholders that we bought at Ikea in Sweden, only 30 cents a piece. The setting was very romantic.

We walked up the lit driveway with the people around us. White Christmas lights dangling from white hanging plant poles framed the upper driveway. (Getting the poles in the ground was difficult, for the ground was packed hard; we even used a drill!) There were three tables with white tablecloths on the upper driveway, and four small white candles  encircled lanterns. White Christmas lights in the magnolia tree lighted the wooden dance floor. Next to the dance floor was the upper pond with running stream and a few water lilies. There was a bench on the other side of the pond where my friend from elementary, Joy Ward, sat. To the left of the dance floor was the black iron gates where white roses climbed the bricks and gate entrance. Everything had a magical quality because everything just came together like a fairytale. Everyone just pitched in, rolling up their sleeves when they saw that it could be spectacular, and all of the help made it seem like magic. Disney could not have created a better night.

If you went straight, the natural looking brick path ebbed with moss went along side the pond and past the left side of the house to the pool. This walkway was covered with a canopy of white Christmas lights connected to the hillside and house. (Mike and Gary put these up.) There were five tables under the canopy, each with a white tablecloth and an assortment of ivory candles sprinkled with rose petals. To the right of the middle tables was a small courtyard where three long tables were set up and covered with white tablecloths. These tables held tea, coffee, sodas, bottled water and silver platters containing fat, juicy, chocolate dipped strawberries from Carlsbad. The lighting was dim, just enough to make it seems like a romantic summer evening.

If you turn left at the black iron gate and follow the bricks you will come to the Spanish tiled deck where the cake was set under a large pine tree on a long table with a white tablecloth. The cake looked beautiful between two large vases of peach, ivory, yellow, white, and coral roses that Cindy Wedge arranged while we were taking our pictures. (She brought more roses when she came.) Amber couldn’t find the long ivory taper candles, so she put out shorter forest green ones in the Mikasa crystal candleholders that Gary’s grandparents had given us as a shower present. There were a few of the favor candles from Ikea on the cake table as well as our crystal toasting flutes that Betty and Greg had given me as a graduation present. The cake table was lit with two old-fashioned streetlight-looking lamps that were purchased at Home Depot. (Those lamps are in our house now.) The cake topper was a white ceramic figurine of a couple where the guy is standing behind the girl with his arms around her. I chose this topper six months after we were engaged because it is the pose that we held standing on the lifeguard tower at sunset when we got engaged. Looking from the iron gate to the cake table you will notice that the entrance to the deck is framed by a forest green metal arch strung with white Christmas lights. (Rhonda mailed us a big box of the white Christmas lights; that’s where most of them came from.)

If you continue walking on the left natural brick path you will see built up brick planters that contain ivy and tulip shaped lights, which light the path. The front door of Gary’s parent’s house is at the end of the brick walkway, up a step of Spanish tile, and back about 10 feet. On the front door hangs a heart shaped wreath made from straw, encircled with the same green ribbon that was on the bubbles, which also had little fabric flowers stuck into the straw. Hanging from the wreathe was a little pink sign that Greg made on the computer with a cherub aiming his arrow and our names, “Gary and Liz” handwritten under the cherub. Through the door the people followed, and quickly formed a line for the bathroom.

The guest book was on an antique entryway table with a long mirror. On the table was the green scrapbook (our guest book) that Greg had copied and glued his drawing of the house into the first pages, and then glued a satin ivory ribbon to tie the book shut. Also on the table were two lit taper candles, a photo album containing photos of our life together so far, from Leah and Aaron’s wedding to Sweden, and a double picture frame holding a baby picture of Gary in a yellow bathtub, and a baby picture of me, also in a yellow bathtub (it must have been a 70s thing). Throughout the house there were pictures of us as children, our grandparent’s wedding photos, and our parent’s wedding photos. When the guests finished using the bathroom the dancing began.

Our first dance was to “Angel” by Robbie Williams, a song that Gary dedicated to me at Amber’s wedding because I was mad at him for not dancing with me. We kissed more on our wedding day than we did at any other time in our lives. We kissed not for photos, but because we loved each other and were having a great time. People stood in a circle and blew bubbles around us as we danced. We danced under the moon and stars to music set up by our DJ. She was great. It was even her anniversary that day! After our first dance I danced with my dad to “The Living Years” by Mike and the Mechanics. Next Gary danced with his mom to “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong. Other special dances were when I danced with my brother to “True Colors” by Phil Colins and when Gary’s 98 year-old grandfather jumped up in his white dinner jacket and black bow tie and danced me away with more energy than Gary ever mustered. Our wedding party dance was very fun. We danced with Amber, Mike, Amy, Leah, Aaron, Jesse, Karen, and Rhonda to “If I had a Million Dollars” by Bare Naked Ladies. We danced in a circle, holding hands, swinging our arms, coming together, spreading out, and running in a circle like kindergartners. It was made even funnier because the girls had donned various jackets and Amber even put on her tennis shoes; it was not a staged wedding that’s for sure .

For the cake cutting we stood behind the long table and gave little speeches to each other. I said, “You’re the most wonderful person in my entire life and you’re fantastic and you’re smart and you finish my sentences. I don’t know, if I could take my brain and split it in half you would be the other half,” which my Uncle Johnny replied with “And it would be messy too.” “Anyways, I love you very very much, and I’ll love you for the rest of my life.”

Then Gary gave two toasts: “First I want to tell you, and I know I may not tell you enough, how much I love you, and you’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. You’re smart, capable, and independent and I admire you for that and everything you’ve done, and I know that you’ll be successful in the future, and I think that’s wonderful, and I love you with all my heart.”

Then he toasted me for graduating from Northridge, and we fed each other cake, nicely. People teased us for not shoving it in each other’s face, but we didn’t want to do that. They were disgusted by our sweetness, even more when Gary licked each of my three icing covered fingers and then kissed me. We gave the first piece of cake, the same one we took part of, to my mom. Gary wanted to add a third toast to my mom, but then the music started again with “American Woman . . .duh duh duh”. And so the party continued.

Some of the more fun dancing songs were “Blue” because we heard it continuously in Sweden; “Oh Bla Di Du Ah” (SP?) by the Beatles because Gary’s dad got out and danced with us along with just about everyone at the wedding; “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred because it was a funny song that made everyone dance and Betty danced with us too; “Magic Carpet Ride”, and “When You Say Nothing At All” by Allison Krause because I sang it to Gary while he smiled his purring smile and held my hands.

I admit that I messed up when I told the DJ to play “What a Wonderful World” for our last dance. That was what I had originally decided, but it should have been “Glory of Love” by Peter Cetera. The first time I heard that song was when I watched Karate Kid II, and at that moment I decided that I absolutely had to play that song at my wedding. I had originally wanted it to be our first dance, but well, I thought I’d let Gary make some decisions about our wedding. Anyway, as a result of my blunder “What a Wonderful World” was played twice. I don’t think anyone really noticed. While this was playing our friends were decorating the yellow ’79 Subaru 4x4 stationwagon that Gary was driving the first day we kissed. They wrapped Peanuts paper towels around the antenna and car, and sprayed “Just Married” in whipped cream on the back window.

When the song ended we started saying our good-byes and were about to walk down the hill, when all of a sudden Mike charges up the hill driving the golf cart. Gary sits on the passenger seat, I sit on his lap. Aaron and Mike have changed clothes, then Aaron and Leah, who is barefoot, hop on the back and we are off with my dress flapping inches above the quick moving driveway.

At the car we quickly posed for pictures. Gary has taken his jacket off and is beaming in his ivory shirt and tie; he looks very handsome. Gary opens my car door and he and Aaron help me stuff my dress in the car; it is poofed over the dashboard. Gary gets in the car and his mom quickly steps forward from the crowd to hug him and talk to him before we leave. We are anxious. She steps back, everyone waves, we wave, kisses are blown and Gary peels out, honking the horn as we descend the hill.

Woo. We’re done! We’re free. We’re laughing. We’re married. Gary drives to Longs Drugs because I forgot my conditioner and there are a thousand rats in my hair. We go into the store in wedding attire, a few people stare at us, we laugh, find the Pantene, and realize that Gary left his wallet on his dresser at the house. Oh well. Onto the Holiday Inn in Escondido where I booked us a suite.

At the hotel Gary goes inside to get the key and set up while I wait in the car. When he has carried in the box containing a few chocolate covered strawberries, a bottle of cider, a bottle of champagne, our toasting glasses, and six of the canning jars holding candles, that were used as centerpieces for the tables under the canopy of white lights, we walked up to the room together. He had decorated nicely. There were lit candles in the bathroom, in the little kitchen, in the sitting room, and three in the bedroom where the toasting glasses and bottles of cider and champagne awaited in an iced bucket.

Amid the golden glow from the ivory candles we plopped down to rest our sore feet. Me on the over stuffed chair with footstool, and Gary on the couch next to the phone, where he then called his mom to tell her that he had forgotten his wallet and shoes, and could she maybe bring them tomorrow. She said Aaron had already found the wallet and had already left to bring it. He hung up the phone, and like magic there was a knock on the door. It was Aaron handing Gary his wallet through the barely open door while Leah tried to smile at me around the corner. Finally alone!